Clothing Rules

According to Damselfly, thou must not:

• wear a belt of any sort because I have no discernable waist and the darn thing won’t stay put.
• tie a bow or knot anywhere in front; though at the neckline or back waist is ok. Just can’t be too cutesy.
• have a diagonal wrap-front on anything. There’s no need for extra fabric across my middle and they never hang right on me anyway.
• ditto with a double-breasted coat or jacket.
• end a top anywhere between a few inches below where my waist should be and crotch level. Tops must be short or long, never halfway.
• expose a wide expanse of upper chest. Not just unbecoming but uncomfortable.
• wear a skirt or dress that is very full at the waist, aka a dirndl or ‘50’s housedress style. Too much fabric where I don’t need it.
• have a dropped waist. The proportions are totally wrong with my short legs.
• have a waist seam at all. A few inches above the waist looks better probably because my waist (such as it is) dips down in back and up in front. I’m also narrower just below the bust.
• never tuck in. See waist seam problem above.
• over-fit my clothes. Too tight brings out the sausage metaphors. And is just not comfortable to wear. The operative word is “skim”.

There’s lots more of these “rules” that I’ve learned over the last while but I’m sure that’s enough for the moment. It’s actually been kind of an epiphany to finally figure out why something I really like just doesn’t work for me. It’s also combined with my rather, ahem…uncommon taste in fashion. After all, I’ve been sewing a percentage of my own clothes since I was 13 because I couldn’t buy what I wanted in the stores. Still true. I even learned how to knit and crochet and weave for the same reason. Besides the fact that all those things are fun – and nobody else will ever have exactly the same garment! Ewe-nique. (Sorry. That slipped out.)

I’ve been reading a gazillion sewing blogs over the last few days. What else did I have to do, I ask you, when even knitting doesn’t hold my attention for long? Some really cute stuff and some good information is contained therein. I’m not sure why I would bother lining and underlining and hong-kong finishing all the seams but it’s great to see some of the couture finishing techniques in use. I also can’t see myself dolling up in ‘40’s and ‘50’s and ‘60’s styles any time soon. Are they craving those feminine, swishy, pretty, kitchy, imaginary times that they can only see in the surviving media from those eras? As a child in the 1950’s and a teenager in the ‘60’s, I was there. Life was not really better then. As a matter of fact it was harder in many ways. And you sure didn’t have even a tiny fraction of the options you have today. I blame the current nostalgia on the feminists who burned their bras and threw out all the good things about being a woman when they were demanding equal rights. You don’t have to emulate men to be an equal human being. Never mind. I’ll let others who are better at this kind of analysis write about it. The only advice I’ll give is just be true to your real self and don’t worry about what others think. They’re probably just envious of your bravery.

“We’re all individuals!” “I’m not.”

(Oops. Monty Python’s Life of Brian. Slipped out.)

So. How’s it going with me? I think there’s some detectable improvement. UTI beaten off. Less coughing; fewer headaches. Still lots of green snot in evidence and easily exhausted doing virtually nothing. I’ve been spoiled rotten over the last 4 days having T-Man at home and indulging my every whim. Tomorrow he has to go back to work and I’ll be on my own for the day. Making my own meals and fetching my own cups of tea and fresh hankies! How will I manage?

“Always look on the bright side of life!”

(More Life of Brian. Can’t help myself today it seems.)