Thursday, August 17, 2006

Time Marches On

I just found out that my dear sweet aunt died this morning. It’s one of those things that’s both a blessing and sad at the same time. Toy (her sisters called her that when she was little) was my adopted-mommy’s baby sister and in her late 80’s. She was suffering from both a recurrence of the cancer-that-wouldn’t-go-away and Alzheimer’s. It was a toss-up which one was going to get her first. Now the three sisters are all in heaven together. (Well, 2 of them are for sure. I don’t know about the middle one! She was pretty ornery.) Yes, I know. I don’t believe in heaven — or hell for that matter. But it’s a cute mental picture anyway. They were very close in life.

Now my poor cousins (both single, childless, and in their 50’s) are going to have to learn all about dealing with the aftermath of losing a parent, while trying to cope with their remaining one. There’s so many things you don’t think about until the worst happens: writing an obituary, planning a funeral, picking out a casket and flowers, having the grave dug, paying for everything one way or another. Hopefully there is a will. And the executor is able to deal with it properly or hires someone who can. We won’t even discuss the problems that can develop if there’s a difference of opinion in the family on how this should all be accomplished. And this is all before you even get a chance to really mourn your loss. I plan to make things as simple as possible for my kids so they don’t have to worry or try to make decisions in a hurry. They already know both of us want a simple cremation and they can put our ashes someplace nice with no specifics on where or how. Whatever they feel comfortable with will do. No coffin, no graveyard, not even a real funeral, just a simple get-together and remembrance with family and friends. Right now I don’t know if we’ll go to my aunt’s funeral. They live about 3 hours away and across the border in the US.

I'd like to report something on a happier note, but I don’t have anything worth mentioning. Still knitting away on those ASIL socks. I’m almost up to the toe decreases on the second sock now. I’m trying to finish them by tomorrow so I can give them to him when I see him on Saturday. I knit too slow, darn it.


Anonymous said...

sorry for your family's loss Damselfly...we understand as I've lost my mother and hubby, his father...

Susan and Bruce

Unknown said...

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope everything will work out for the family. It's hard to make so many important decisions at such a time.