Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My New BFF

I was in the dollar store the other day hunting for a new shower curtain liner – preferably in a colour other than beige, white or clear. Found a nice soft green one that works nicely in my bathroom for a whole $1.99. I also found a hot water bottle. Now, I know there are loads of people who swear by their “hottie” but I haven’t had one of these blobbing rubber beasts since I was a little girl in the 1950’s. Since then I’ve used an electric heating pad that requires an available electrical plug close by or a “magic bag” that needs frequent microwaving and is either too hot or too cold. Awhile back when I was going frequently to my physiotherapist, she would apply a huge and very heavy hot water bottle on my neck and back (along with the electrical stimulus electrodes) to warm and loosen my muscles before massaging. But it never occurred to me that a small one might be a nice thing to have in my chilly house. I’ve been seeing a lot of knitted hot water bottle cosies lately so I made a snap decision to try it. It was only $3.99 so no biggie if it didn’t work for me.

My house is pretty old and drafty and we keep the daytime temp at 17° C. (62.7° F.). I wear lots of warm clothes in layers but sometimes it’s nice to have a little extra heat on the feet or back if I’m sitting around for any length of time. This sucker fills with hot tap water, which in our house is only about 50° C. (120° F.), and stays gently warm for several hours. Nice. I have warm feet! Bottle now; cosy to come later. Specific pattern TBA. (Likely not the cute penguin in the new issue of Knitty though.)

But wait! The best part of my new hot water bottle, which was made in China and imported to St. Laurent, Quebec, is the plastic bag it came in. It says (all spelling, punctuation and grammar intact):



1 Heat water bag is used in medical treatment health and common live to get warm.

2 The water temperature that the heat water bag used should be around 90°C. The water should be not over 2/3 than the capacity of the heat water bag.

3 After filling water, must let the air in the heat water bag out and let the screw tight. Check if there is leak water phenomenon.

4 When baby use the heat water bag, should let the heat water bag a little far from baby.

5 When the heat water bag is used or storage must avert it to be weight on or stabed, not touch sour, alkali, oil and sunlight shoot.

6 Storage heat water bag should fill a little air inside. Put it in shady environment.

7 The dire on the heat water bag can be washed by soap water than use water wash it clean.

8 The heat water bag should not be put in the display window so long time, especially the display window in the sunlight shoot.

OK. I solemnly promise not to stabe it or keep it in the sunlight shoot. I’ll definitely watch for any leak water phenomenon. And heaven forefend it should touch sour! Yikes.


Anonymous said...

I love the dire warning in #7. Thanks for the chuckle.

Suzanne said...

i have pages and pages of the reverse translations from Quebec. I could have you roll on the floor for hours. re: hot water bottle, I have been using it for a long time, mostly in bed when I feel a cold coming , on the soles on my feet. Most people swear by : go for a run, a warm bath , hot tea etc. The common denominator here is that it will rise your body temperature, so it would kill some viruses. I have managed to kill a few that way!!!

Chrissy said...

Bwahahahahaa! I really needed that laugh. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Lovely! I used to teach English as a second language, so all of it makes perfect sense to me (but it still makes me laugh!) By the way, if you really ever want to sin at charades, look for an ESL teacher to add to your team: we spend half our time trying to figure our students mean, and the other half trying to explain what something else means to them!
"Mrs. Barbara, what means CLUMSY?" I stood up, very ostentatiously knocked over a table, hit myself on the forehead and said, "Oh, I'm so clumsy!" Simple enough even for the beginners I taught.

Anonymous said...

OOH, sorry.... that should say WIN at charades, nor SIN! Was that a Freudian slip?

Barbara M.